Today I am grateful for my glasses – may they rest in pieces :o)

In 2011 I was homeless.

Me and my two large dogs lived about 2 months in a parking lot, in a car that didn’t run.

When I was homeless, one of my biggest fears, and there were a LOT of them, but one of my biggest fears was breaking my glasses.

EVERY – SINGLE – TIME that I dropped my glasses and they DIDN’T break, the relief and gratitude that washed over me was indescribable.

Such a GIFT I had been given, each time that my glasses did not break. — If you can’t really see, how do you go on to even the next MINUTE of your life? How do you even go about walking into a 7-11 to go to the bathroom without your glasses, much less go about finding a way to get them fixed or replaced with no money? Every time I bumped them or dropped them, I held my breath. And every time, they didn’t break.

And every time I was SO, VERY, VERY GRATEFUL 😀

I am currently grateful and blessed to have a temporary place to live.

And even now, when I drop my glasses, I hold my breath, but the terror is not there. And I am very grateful for that.

. . . This morning, in my temporary kitchen, I took off my glasses, washed my face and decide to wipe my lenses with the damp towel that I dried my face with, and the metal frame of my glasses gently snapped in my hands, and the lens fell out.

It was like an old friend ‘passing’ quietly in my arms. A friend who has had my back for years, without faltering or abandoning me. My glasses have been like a fellow soldier in my war against my own homelessness. Their good job is now done and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for their ‘service’.

I am so grateful that they stayed strong for me when I needed them most.
And the torch will be passed.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Gratitude for an online friend

The first year after my mom’s stroke was the darkest time for me. My homelessness was bad, but didn’t even “touch” the darkness of that first year. The depression was bad. It was BAD, bad. Many days I would wake up in the morning and as soon as I was conscious, I would be sobbing. That led me to a sort of “gauge” on how bad things were, based on whether I was crying BEFORE I was even out of bed. Back then it was often. It is not often now, but it happened two days ago.

After waking up, and sobbing before I was out of bed, (never a good sign) I got up and took the one kind of medication that I do have, and I made coffee. A couple hours later, I feel a lot better and it is not ONLY because of the medication. It is because I remembered some things, and I remembered them because of my friend Sabine.

I remembered that I am wonderful and brilliant.

I remembered that I am entitled to the same love that I feel for, and give to, others. I am deserving of the same encouragement and loving speech I give to my dogs. “It’s ok.” “You’re alright.” “GOOD GIRL!“ 😀

I remembered that I am my own best friend. And like any good friend, I am the one who will help me the most.

I remembered that stressing about it does NOT help. It actually causes resistance. Like trying to forcing a tight ring on a finger. Don’t FORCE it. Relax and “allow” it to happen as you wish.

I remembered that just because I want it, or even think I need it, doesn’t mean I am right. I need to allow The Universe to “do it’s thing”. What I need and want will be given to me freely and easily, but if I am fully determined that what I need is “over there”, I may miss the actual thing I need as it passes me by “over here”

I have received much kindness from so many, but today, I am reminded by, and grateful for Sabine. Thank you Sabine for your wisdom and gentle guidance, and your belief in me when I don’t believe in myself. You will truly never know what a positive impact you have had on my life.

All my Love and Blessings to you.

Kathleen